Tuesday, February 17, 2009

This Could Happen to Me

Monica and I have living wills and legal this and legal that and folks think we're covered. That's all you need. You don't need what I have. Well you are wrong. We do.
This terrifies me.

We can trot out all the legal papers and certificates of unions we want (and how would you like to have to go get all this stuff in a time of crisis) and some people only see that we are gay and have no equal rights as married people.
Such imhumanity to other people boggles my mind.

8 comments:

Chris said...

I read and commented on this story...so sad and frustrating...I can't imagine this happening to Gary and I...this is definitely something that needs to be addressed. Isn't there a paper to sign, a medical directive, something?!!!!! Not everyone has a spouse, so there must be a way to have someone else legally responsible? You've gotten my curiousity up and running now...I'm doing some research.........

Jackie said...

Chris, I guess these people didn't care about papers. They only cared about the word "spouse". You don't get to use that word without "marriage".
And must we carry all that paperwork around with us? Who can even remember where it is at a time like that? And why would anyone deny the ill person a loving hand to hold or a distressed person info? It's easy when you don't see gay people as humans.
I hope Janice wins her case.

Chris said...

That's what I was saying though...not every person has a spouse...what about single people or widowed people...what do they do about designating someone to be their support person? What if they don't have a 'family' member to be legally responsible? As a nurse, I don't remember having such crazy rules, but then I was a NICU nurse and dealt mostly with babies. I've never known a hospital that denied a patient loving support...maybe medical decisions. My prayers are with Janice as well. I would never want to see my cousin, or you, or anyone I cared about in this position!!!!!

Jackie said...

I got your valid point, Chris.
I do know that you can legally appointed an advocate to speak when you can't in health matters. Monica and I have done this for a friend. The hospital social services can appoint one also. Hospitals are usually too happy to help loved ones of the ill person. It's counterproductive to the care to behave like this.
This is a case of blatant bigotry. It happens too often, unfortunately.

Mari said...

This is so sickening, and sad... I want you to know we are doing whatever we can to change this- every time we vote, every time the discussion comes up, when I have the opportunity to march, for it has to change. A family must be able to define itself.

Jackie said...

Thanks Mari. It's good to know people understand even though it doesn't effect them. Your work is so appreciated.

Becky said...

Whoa! This is so sad and -- illegal. At least I would think so. Isn't a medical power of attorney a legal paper. If they don't honor that, seems to me that the hospital could get into a lot of trouble. I wouldn't think you would need to carry the papers around with you any more than blood relatives and heterosexual married couples would need to carry around birth certificates and marriage licenses. But I didn't realize that hospitals sometimes refused to honor medical powers of attorney so what so I know.

Jackie said...

Thanks for the comment Becky. It happens. Yes, it's illegal but like in this case there was no time to waste going to get papers. Sad, indeed.